living like elle

I want to start this post out by saying that Suhaib is a man I met in Jordan who has a story that I wanted to tell because it needs to be told. Suhaib confided in me when he was expressing all of these emotions and feelings he had and my friends and I are people who listened to him and sympathized with him even though we couldn’t feel ourselves the emotions he has felt in his lifetime. I have gotten permission from Suhaib and he has read and approved this post before it was posted. I am here to try and tell a story about a situation I believe needs more attention. 

This takes place in Jordan where my friends are visiting, we had spent the previous days at the Dead Sea and Petra and had just arrived at our camp site in the Wadi Rum. We had the most amazing Jordanian dinner and decided before we went to bed we wanted to talk and socialize with one another over shisha. We are all mingling and enjoying our time at this amazing campsite in the Wadi Rum when Suhaib comes over to our group of seven girls and asks where are from; we told him America with a smile on our face like we usually do and have been doing as we continue to travel the world. Suhaib takes us off guard with his response as he replies “ugh, I hate Americans, they are not cute at all.” I’m not going to lie. At first I was shocked, I have never gotten that reaction from a person in any of the countries we had been traveling around and we had spent multiple days in Jordan before this and never recived a response like this. Some of the girls in my group were talking about it and some decided to go to bed as it had already been a long day. I decided to personally brush it off because everyone is entitled to their own opinion and can have their own thoughts on things. I had never had anyone say that to me before but I personally was not one to take it to heart. 

The comment changed the vibe of our shisha group but it was fine we were all just a little caught off guard. Suhaib approaches our group again and makes another comment about Americans when my friend I have met on this voyage who is actually from Columbia and not from America asks him the simple question “why do you hate Americas?” This is when conversation was stricken. Suhaib grabs a seat next to me and tells us about how all people in America are bad because he was not let into America by the government. We sat and we listened to his story. 

The story of Suhaib, he is a young man from Jordan who wished and dreamed of going to America as many people call it “living and achieving the American dream.” The love of his life was also in America and I’m sure if you ask anyone if they would move to somewhere to be with the love of their life they would absolutely do it. Suhaib wanted to live and experience this “American dream” with the love of his life by his side the whole time. Suhaib tried to get a visa to America and the first time he was denied for no reason at all, they just denied him the right of moving or even visiting America, my home country. He tried to get a visa so many times and spilled his savings and so many thousands of dollars into attempting to get visas and hiring people for help to get him into America and every attempt was refused by the United States Government. This is a horribly sad story and although it was the first I had heard about this situation from a person outside of the United States it is happening everyday. Everyday people are getting their hopes, dreams, and hearts crushed by the United States government and it is simply not okay. Why can I (am American) get a visa for Jordan and travel to Jordan so easily but it is so hard or impossible for someone from Jordan to get a visa to the United States and travel there. Because of this situation Suhaib and the love of his life could not make a relationship work while being a world away and this is something he is still trying to recover from. 

After hearing Suhaibs story we understood; I had no idea this was happening. This opened my eyes and my ears and made me realize that a change was needed. I have had friends who’s parents or themselves have been deported from America back to their “home” country. In high school I had a girl in any class get deported and taken by immigration police DURING SCHOOL HOURS. I have heard of these stories but it was eye opening and also so heartbreaking to hear Suhaibs story from someone on the other end who was trying to get to America. 

I understood after listening to him tell his tragic story why he hated Americans but my friends and I were still determined to change his mind on it’s not all the people in America, it’s the government. Suhaib listened to us, we educated him on how terrible our government can be and how in the past our government has been even worse and we made sure that he knew it’s not all the people, it’s only some. Even though I would say the majority of people in the United States are good, the good can not outweigh the bad, especially if the bad sits in the government’s hands and especially if our country gets placed into incorrect hands as it has been in the past. He heard us just like we heard him and we sympathized together, we grieved together, and we bonded as humans, not as people from different places and different boarders. 

By the end of our conversation with Suhaib we became friends, we became the people that if he needed something I would answer my phone and help him and he would do the same for us American women. He noticed that we were good people, and he noticed that people like us young women who are traveling the world are the people who want to make a difference the most. He may still not like America and he may still not be a fan of American people but I think he realized that he needs to give everyone a chance, even if they are from America because not all; but so many people in this world are beautiful humans no matter where they come from, no matter the color of their skin, or no matter the language they speak. 

Suhaib ended up apologizing to us girls for the mean or rude comments he made to us at the beginning of the night which was not necessary but we appreciated and he told us that we were beautiful people and that we have helped him think differently of us as Americans. By the end of our conversation his mindset was shifted, he started seeing us as humans, no as people from America. Even though he holds so much hatred for the country America he still wants to visit there so bad because he knows deep down that there are so many smart and kind people in America and that’s a huge reason why he wanted to visit in the first place, to learn about the cultural differences, learn how Americans think, overall just experience a different atmosphere that only America can offer a person. 

We stayed up until the early hours of the morning talking with Suhaib, we became friends and even after the heavy topics of conversation were over we continued to talk just about life. He apologized immensely which we all stated an apology was not necessary. Suhaib ended up gifting us girls a bottle of wine from Jordan to enjoy in our tent and a metal he had won from a hot air balloon contest which Jess and I hang in our room and look at daily as a reminder of Suhaib, his story, and all the other stories that are similar to his around the world. If I could have, I would have taken Suhaib to the US embassy and begged and pleaded for him to be let in, but there is only so much a small group of young women can do so that’s part of why I am sharing this story and writing this blog post. 

If anyone has any resources, help or any idea of what a person can do to try and help this situation please do not hesitate to reach out to me because the hard truth is this problem is much bigger than one or even a dozen people. 

I hope you all enjoyed reading Suhaibs story and I am so happy that I have created the platform to be able to share such an educational and amazing experience that I had in Jordan. I will forever remember the conversations that I had with Suhaib and I will forever remember all he has been through and his story will stay with me. As I become a bigger person and start to make my mark on this world, I hope that someday I can help people who are in this situation even its just by a conversation. 

With love, 

Elle 

This story took place at a campsite in the Wadi Rum and I will no be sharing a photo of the campsite or of Suhaib as I do not have permission for photo use but here is a picture of myself and my fiends who had this conversation with Suhaib.